Knitting package from home MIA

Oh! Where the Bloody Hell is my knitting package from home? It's been a week. That's way too long for a first class package to take. Bastard Postal Service! Unless it's been delivered and someone stole it. Asshole! I will hunt them down. Then I will drag them through the streets by their feet in the burning heat of day. Then I will hang them upside down above a beehive of angry bees, in the open sun. Don't they know that you can't take knitting projects away from a knitter?! Cruel! Heartless!